“What would you do different” – Messages from married people on wedding planning







Couples typically have the time of their lives when enjoying their Wedding Celebration. There are always hick ups in the schedule or planning, but at the end of the day, don’t sweat the small stuff – But, asking advice is sometimes helpful. 

I love (and hate) the question of “Do you have any regrets?” when talking about peoples’ weddings. But let’s make it a total positive and learn from each other in different perspectives. Some top “What we would do differently” – from married couples talking to a wedding vendor:

1. “I wish we would have not put so much pressure on ourselves to DIY vs. budgeting for new or used items”.

The idea of staying up into early morning hours putting together napkin rings with your wedding date on them… I think this couple had the right idea post wedding. People remember how you made them feel, not how your decor was managed down to the micro level. Some things are fantastic to make the decor special for your day. But asking yourself “Will my guests remember x?” or “Is this going to break the bank if I outsource this project?”.

2. ” We asked friends to play DJ for the entertainment. 4 months later we are attending a wedding where they had a live band and a DJ. It made their wedding so amazing when it came to energy and flow. Our wedding just didn’t have that element and a lot of people went home early.”

DJ’s, Bands, and other vendors who control the flow and energy of the event are gifts from the universe, in my humble opinion. I have been to over 275 weddings in my life and I will absolutely say that even if everything derailed during most of the wedding, A DJ and or Band can turn it around to an epic evening. From a Wedding Vendor, Spring for the vendor who asks the questions on what age are most people attending your wedding? if you have a generational age mix, make sure you’re not playing all club music. A great DJ will know that. 

3. “We got married 14 years ago and realized that during the early 2000’s there were some seriously big trends in style and wedding esthetic. Trends can be nodded to, but not jumped into when decoding for a wedding. Classic style is easier to look back on.” 

Anyone else look back at their yearbook or early 2000’s trends? The zebra/hot pink & black esthetic was in heavily for a lot of the teens and early twenty somethings. This is what I think when the word “trend” pops up. You can see trends every few years, such as rustic, boho… lots of greens and white florals with lots of floral crowns… You get the picture. Nods vs. fully covered in trends may be easier to share later in photos. I am a fan of timeless myself. 

4. “2 years later, we still are paying off our credit card debt from our wedding.” 

Debt is fine. Everyone has it. It’s the lasting and life effecting that I struggle with personally. My husband and I also had this happen after rescheduling our wedding 3x due to covid. Things add up and budgets can get really blurred. It’s best to understand that even though your wedding is an incredible chapter – it’s not the whole book. 

5. “We weren’t organized and ended up doing a lot of things on our wedding day when it came to keeping the wheels on. We maybe should have hired a day of coordinator at the least. Nothing ran on time, and we had a lot of family emotions that came out.”

I love my fellow vendors, so I will always say, if someone else can do it, absolutely. If you can have someone else, do it with lots of experience – you are putting so much more time back into your day. Your time is worth money, sanity, and joy. Delegation is a skill that we all don’t have. Planning a massive event is also something that 90% of the population has zero experience with. They may also save you money in the long run. 

6. “Our families have strained relationships, and when dealing with wedding gift/support for paying, we felt like we were hostages and obligated to do a lot of things that were not about us as a couple.”

Oooof – This comment hits me right in the heart. Money is a sensitive thing. Even on a good day people can become possessive about their contributions and what they want the couple to do with that. I have had couples whose family member commit to funds, only to pull away because of feelings that were developed. The couple had to make up for a large difference that was once promised, and things got even more drama packed in their core group. 

Lesson – It’s your wedding. You do not have to take donations from anyone that is using it as a tool to control or take away from your vision. You do not have to invite, buy, or do anything in your life if you do not want to, even if Aunt Sally is donating funds for flowers. 

7. “We didn’t go on a honeymoon.” 

I get it – you may have just dropped thousands of dollars on a massive party and are trying to cut back on spending after the wedding. Even if it’s a week off afterwards from work, spend some time unwinding and planning something to look forward to. Post-wedding blues are a thing- look it up. You need to feel connected and excited about your new chapter. 

8. “We were so hungry.” 

Make sure to schedule some time during cocktail hour for you and your partner to step away, eat some food, drink some water and sit together. Make sure to enjoy all the amazing treats you planned for your guests. 

Hopefully some of these things are helpful to you during your wedding planning process. More to come as this wedding season kicks off for Mirror Image Photography – New England.

Drink water, put on your sunscreen and eat a snack if you need it,